Failure
by Roz
Summary: In the middle of the Padawan trials, Obi-Wan runs away thinking himself as a failure. While in the lower levels of Coruscant, he is badly injured. Will the Jedi reach him in time and if they do, will that be enough? COMPLETED!
1. The start of a bad day

**Author:** Roz

**Email:** aeterno_estel@hotmail.com

**Rating:** PG-13, just to be safe, yah?

**Genre:** Uhm…..angst?

**Disclaimer:** Yeah! I'm making millions out of this!! NOT! I don't own anything (and no offense, but I'm glad that I don't own anything!) but if there are any publishers out there, don't be afraid to sign me up!! Hahahaha! As if. But I do claim Aragorn-the-16-year-old as my own……and Arwen? You know, there should be a law against being born too perfect. Even though this is a SW story……

**Feedback:** Oh god, please yes!! Please, please, PLEASE!!

**Archival:** I'd be honored to be in anyone's archive, just tell me so I can visit you sometime too!

**Summary:** In the middle of the Padawan trials, Obi-Wan runs away thinking himself as a failure. While in the lower levels of Coruscant, he is badly injured. Will the Jedi reach him in time and if they do, will that be enough?

**Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Lots of this story is AU and I've changed some things differently to the JA books, so just try and take it in your stride ok? Don't try to make too much sense of it. And this is going to be a 'short' story.**

I hope you like it Culf!

**** 

Obi-Wan looked at the calendar on his table and sighed deeply. It was that time of year. The time that Obi-Wan both hated and loved.

It was the Padawan trial times.

The young boy closed his eyes and turned over in his bed, snuggling deeper into his white cocoon of comfort, trying his best to sleep for the last hours of the night.

To absolutely no avail.

His mind just wouldn't let him sleep. His body was totally exhausted but his mind was way too busy to let his body rest.

It thought that there were better things to do. Like worry about getting accepted, about being someone's Padawan and about finally becoming a defender of the galaxy. It also dwelt heavily about not being accepted and ending up in the Agri-corps.

About failing.

The young initiate had been practicing hard everyday for the last 2 months and had been studying as hard and as quickly as his mind would let him. 

The actual trails would start in………..

The boy looked quickly at the clock beside the calendar.

…………3 hours.

The boy buried his head into the pillow in a vain attempt to sleep.

"Who are you trying to fool Oafy-Wan, huh?" A voice sneered out of the dark and Obi-Wan shot straight up, his sleep tousled hair sticking up at odd angles. In the doorway a thin, white haired boy leaned on the frame, silhouetted by the faint light in the hallway, sniggering at the sight of the alarmed initiate.

He stepped forward and stood about a foot away from the boy's bed, the moonlight streaming through a window lighting up his white hair, giving it an almost reverend glow.

"Bruck! W-what…." Obi-Wan licked his lips, the words getting stuck in his throat, and tried again, "What are you doing here?"

The boy in question took another step forward; his blinding white hair instantly swallowed up by the darkness as he moved out of the moonlight, and vanished.

"Bruck?" Obi-Wan's voice was pitched higher then normal, fear taking hold as his eyes wildly searched the room for the missing boy.

"Here, Oafy-Wan." A voice whispered by his ear and Obi-Wan jumped in fright.

"Bruck! What are you doing?! Where are you!?!"

There was an airy snicker and the voice replied just as close, making the hairs on Obi-Wan's neck stand up, "Right here, Oafy-Wan. Use your eyes. Use those _Jedi_ skills." The voice sarcastically drawled out the 2nd to last word.

Obi-Wan stilled his thumping heart and forced himself to concentrate. As his eyes scoured the room he saw Bruck. It wasn't the fact that Bruck had disappeared that had scared him so much – it was the fact that when Obi-Wan had finally located the 'missing' boy, Bruck was mere centimeters away from him.

Bruck was around five centimeters away from Obi-Wan's head. Obi-Wan could only just see the glow of Bruck's hair.

Bruck silently took in his discovery and snicked softly again, "So the young _Jedi_ has finally located his prey. Morning Oafy-Wan."

The boy pulled himself together and with as much force as he could muster asked the question once again, "What are you doing here, Bruck?"

"Well, my master and I just returned from a mission and I thought that I'd stop by and wish you _good luck_ on your trials. You are, after all, going to need _all_ the help that you can get." Bruck made his voice low and sympathetic but his eyes kept their evil glint.

Obi-Wan bowed his head, he didn't want Bruck to see how upset his words of 'kindness' were making him.

Bruck had been accepted as Master Nygher's Padawan last year. In fact, all his friends had been accepted last year. Everyone except him.

"Yes." Bruck nodded his head sympathetically as he watched Obi-Wan trying to deal with his emotions, "I know this is hard Oafy-Wan. I know that all your friends have been accepted because they are so much better then you. I know that the Masters don't look twice at you because you are so pathetic. I know that although you try your best, you are one of the biggest failures in the Temple. And I know that this _must_ be hard on you but realize this, I'm always there for you!" With the last sentence, Bruck erupted into silent laughter, his body convulsing as he tried to keep his black mirth in.

Obi-Wan's cheeks flared red and he tried to shield his emotions, "Shut up Bruck! Just shut up! I don't have to listen to you! I don't have to---"

"Careful there, little initiate. Don't give into your anger because you know where that leads!" Bruck waved his finger in front of the boy's face and laughed eve harder.

Obi-Wan was speechless then suddenly found his tongue. "This year is going to be different!"

Bruck lifted an eyebrow and put his head on the side, "Oh yeah Oafy-Wan? How? You actually going to do something _right_ at the trials?" The quiet snickers continued.

"Yes! I mean, no! I mean…….." Obi-Wan was lost for words, so he turned the subject around, "This year I AM going to be chosen."

Bruck rolled his eyes, "Yeah right. As if. And I'm a monkey's arse."

Obi-Wan grinned uncertainly, "Then you must be a monkey's arse, because I will be accepted. Just you watch! Now, if you don't have anything more else to say – leave me alone. I wish to sleep in peace." Obi-Wan flopped back into his sheets and turned away, leaving Bruck to talk to his back.

"As I said before, I just came to wish you luck….." Bruck's voice grew even 'nicer', "After all, this is your last year. If you don't get chosen – you're off to Agri-corps. You become a Jedi-loser. You'll become what you already know you are: A failure." Bruck's voice was positively angelic. He turned to leave and just as he crossed over the threshold he whispered, "Sweet dreams Oafy-Wan."

**** 

Obi-Wan tossed and turn in his bed, the sheets tangling themselves around his body. What Bruck said wasn't true. It's not true. The boy tried his best to try and convince himself but no matter what he said to lift his spirits nothing worked.

"Maybe there is something wrong with me." The boy wretchedly whispered to himself as he thought over his work and his training. He had done as much, even more then his friends, yet he had been left behind. Why?

He was a good worker, he was good at 'sabre practice, he was average in all his subjects and although he didn't stand out, he didn't totally fade into the back round either. But no one noticed him. Why?

He had a good personality. He was pure as pure could be. He was patient; he had tolerance and managed to control most of his emotions. Yet people overlooked him. Why?

The boy couldn't answer any of this questions and that left him even more worried. "Why can't I answer any of my questions? Why am I left all alone?" Obi-Wan buried his head in his sheets and vainly tried to find answers to an unanswerable question.

Needless to say, it was a tired and worried boy that emerged from his room a mere 3 hours later.

As soon as Obi-Wan stepped out of his bedroom, he noticed the air of excitement.

The trials had begun.

**** 

As Obi-Wan made his way over to the breakfast table Bruck swept past, walking quickly after his master.

"Good luck Oafy-Wan!" He called back over his shoulder and let out a guffaw of laughter, "You're going to need it!"

Just ignore him. Just ignore him. Obi-Wan thought to himself as he picked up his food tray. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't look where he was going and found himself flat on his face, with half of his breakfast scattered all over the room.

"Watch it, you clumsy idiot! Don't you look where you're going? Stupid fool!" A girl muttered as she uselessly tried to wipe some of the food off of her tunic.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to." Obi-Wan started to apologize but stopped as a Knight stepped in front of him with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Initiate Kenobi?" The man's voice was deep and toneless.

"Yes sir?" The boy looked up into the man's eyes and couldn't help but tremble.

"I have seen you lose your concentration many times. This results in the waste of good food. I am sick of it. You must pay more attention to your surroundings. Be more mindful of the living force. Do you understand?"

The boy wilted under the man's glare, "Yes sir."

"You are 12 are you not? Your 13th birthday is not far away?" The man questioned.

"Yes sir. My 13th birthday is in 7 months."

"Then you had better watch what you do if you wish to become a Jedi Padawan. You may continue on your way Initiate Kenobi." With a curt nod, the Knight dismissed him.

"Yes sir." The boy whispered the last words and scurried away. "Good one Kenobi. First thing you do, you manage to stuff up."

He arrived at his friends table and plonked himself down. "Hi guys!" He made his voice cheerful, so that they would not guess anything of what had happened at the breakfast table.

"Morning Obi-Wan." Bant, Garen and Reeft barely spared the boy a glance before they returned to their argument. 

"But they cannot do that! If they do then the diplomatic immunity would commence forth from that time onward and the Tyukls would end up having to give in to the demands. If that happened then what would happen to the granules of Hysja on the planet within the central core?" Bant put forth her argument with wide, sincere eyes.

"But they can! Can't you see it Bant? If they agree to comply to some of the demands then some of the heat would be released off of them and put elsewhere. This might actually give them a chance to remove themselves from the situation that they are in and nothing would befall the granules of Hysja within the core." Garen argued against the Calamarian.

"Garen is right! Actually no, both of you are right. Who is there to say that there is a definite right and wrong? No matter what happens, something bad is going to befall either side of the argument and even if we do manage to settle this dispute without bloodshed and pain then once we are gone, something, somewhere is going to try and do something with the Hysja core granules." Reeft concluded his speech with a triumphant smile.

"Uh…….?" Obi-Wan didn't know what to say. "Uhm, what are you talking about?"

"Oh, I forgot!" Bant laughed shrilly, her laughter sounding thin even to her ears. "We're all going on a mission together. It's going to be great!"

"You _all_ are?!?!" Obi-Wan tried to get his head around the idea of all his friends leaving together, leaving him alone once again.

"Yep! It's awesome! All of our masters were called together and we're going to be working on the same mission. It's going to be heaps of fun! Too bad that you can't come huh Obi-Wan?" Garen tried his hand at a sympathetic smile, failing miserably, his own excitement making him too happy to be bothered with someone else's worries at the moment.

"Yeah……..cool." Obi-Wan whispered brokenly and stared down at the table. 

There was an awkward silence then all three friends started arguing once more amongst themselves.

Obi-Wan waited for another five minutes, but after his friends hadn't even spared him a glance he quietly snuck away from the table. They didn't even notice him go.

How much worse could the day get? 

Bruck had taunted him in the morning. He had been told off by a Knight for tripping over and dropping his tray and now he had found out that all his friends were going on a mission. _Together_. Without him. 

"Don't worry about it. Things can't get much worse. Just put it out of your mind. Just work your hardest today and you _will_ get chosen." Obi-Wan tried to cheer himself up and consolidated himself with the fact that the famous Qui-Gon Jinn was coming to watch the trials. And choose for himself a Padawan. 

"Wow. Imagine if I could become Jinn's Padawan. That would be amazing." Obi-Wan stared awe-stricken into his fantasy future and didn't hear Bruck come up behind him.

"Imagine it well Oafy-Wan for that is all it will be! A fantasy! You fool! As if someone so great as Jinn would choose some pathetic, little failure like you! You're almost not even worth going to Agri-corps! I don't even know why they choose you!" The laughter in the Padawan's voice and the wavering resolution of the initiate in himself made the words hurt even more.

Obi-Wan gave Bruck a glare and stalked off.

"Remember what I said Oafy-Wan! This is your last chance! FAILURE!!" The black voice floated behind him and planted seeds of doubt in the initiate's mind. 

**** 

It was lunch time. So far, Obi-Wan thought he was going well. Although he hadn't won any of his tournaments, he had done well and he had seen his teachers' face shining.

He was going to be picked this year. He could feel it. 

He stepped out into the ring for his last match and his eyes swept the audience. He could see him. Qui-Gon Jinn sat amongst the crowd, his body slouched, his shoulders slumped and his eyes virtually closed. The tall man looked asleep.

"Well, I will show him something that will make him sit up. Something that will make him take notice of me and he _will_ choose me as his Padawan." Obi-Wan clenched his teeth and promised himself.

His eyes went past the Master and he saw also in the grandstand Bant, Garen and Reeft's Masters. There was no sign of his friends. No matter how hard he searched, he couldn't see them. 

Maybe they were late? Maybe they were in the crowd but he just couldn't see them? Not likely. Obi-Wan shook his head and his hand holding his lightsabre trembled. They hadn't come. His friends hadn't come to see his last match.

Someone in the crowd waved and shouted out a name. "OAFY-WAN!"

Obi-Wan eyes locked themselves onto Brucks and he flinched as the crowd laughed at the Padawan's nickname for the Initiate. Bruck didn't have his master with him, Obi-Wan noticed. 

Why did Bruck have to be here? Where were his friends?

Obi-Wan took his spot, and the match begun but he couldn't concentrate. He missed several simple maneuvers and ended up with slight burns for his efforts. He could almost hear the crowd yawning as they watched another average performance.

"No! I will not be another average fighter! I will prove something to Master Jinn and he will take me as his student!" Obi-Wan vowed and battled harder but as the fight went on longer his concentration slipped even further.

_Oafy-Wan._

His opponent feinted to the left and the young boy fell for it.

_All your friends have been accepted because they are so much better then you._

Obi-Wan swirled around on his heel and dropped to the ground so that the blade went harmlessly over his head. He then sprung high into the air and did a somersault and landed behind his opponent.

_The Masters don't look twice at you because you are so pathetic._

He lunged forward but his opponent suddenly sidestepped and brought his 'sabre onto the boy's side, giving Obi-Wan a mild burn.

_You are one of the biggest failures in the Temple._

Obi-Wan gasped as he felt his skin burn and he spun away. 

_You become a Jedi-loser._

He gripped his 'sabre tighter and flipped over his opponent's head once again, trying to surprise him.

_You are a Jedi-loser._

His opponent feinted once again and once again the boy fell for it.

_Oafy-Wan._

Obi-Wan blinked, trying to clear his vision as his opponent gave him a good knock to his head with his elbow.

_Clumsy idiot._

In return he pivoted on one foot and stuck his other foot out, tripping his opponent up.

_Don't you look where you're going?_

As soon as his opponent fell, he flipped right back up and artistically weaved his way over to Obi-Wan's side of the mat.

__

Stupid fool!

Obi-Wan rushed headlong into the battle and started a sizzling quick, sabre to sabre fight where the blades were just a blur of light.

__

We're all going on a mission together.

Upper, lower, left, right. Feinting, springing. 

_You'll become what you already know you are: A failure._

Suddenly, too late Obi-Wan felt a leg weave around his.

_Failure._

No! Obi-Wan's mind cried. The grip tightened.

_Failure._

The whole close-knit fight had been a set-up. He had fallen for it.

_Failure._

Suddenly, he was lying on his back and the sabre touched him lightly on his neck, signaling a deathblow.

_PATHETIC FAILURE._

**** 

** Well, tell me if you like it! I wasn't actually going to do anymore SW fics but i owed Culf this one, so you can all thank her for this!**

I bet you don't like it do you Culf?

Anyway, updates will be weekly because I'm at school and it's Yr12, and i've really got to work. So yeah. You should be lucky that you're getting this so soon! I was going to wait till the holidays! Which are in about 10 weeks time here!

Anway, i do hope you like it! Tell me in a review!


	2. Pathetic

**Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews! I'm glad that you like it Culf! I've almost actually finished writing up the whole story and reviews might come earlier then a week (like this one) but you'll recieve at least one a week. Depending on my work-load! Anyway, i hope you enjoy it!**

**** 

Obi-Wan closed his eyes in despair as he felt his neck burn and his shakily grasped his opponents hand to help him up. He heard the applause but knew it wasn't for him. His eyes instinctively went to his teacher's face and he saw disappointment spelled out on his facial features.

He had failed.

His eyes searched the stands for a friendly face and his eyes fell onto Master's Jinn's face. The man wasn't even looking at him. He didn't even bother clapping at the pathetic piece of fighting. Suddenly he saw someone waving at him and his face lit up, thinking his friends had turned up after all.

"GOOD FIGHT, OAFY-WAN!" Bruck laughed and Obi-Wan felt his face burn from shame. 

He couldn't take it any longer. Before he even waited to be dismissed he ran from the stadium, seeking refuge somewhere. Anywhere. 

_Failure._

He ran into the library, searching for a place to bury himself. 

His friends were sitting around a table, books spread out between them, arguing heatedly. He skidded to a stop, disbelief spreading like a wildfire across his face. 

His friends had given up watching him to _read books?_

His self-restraint quivered and abruptly snapped. "WHERE WERE YOU?!?!" His voice came out harsh and angry.

"Huh?" Three pairs of eyes gaped up at the angry, humiliated and confused boy. "Obi-Wan! What are you doing---"

Obi-Wan cut them off before they could finish the sentence, "I CAN'T believe you! I JUST HAD MY FIGHT! And you didn't even bother to see me!"

"Now, just hang on a moment----" Garen tried to calm down his friend.

"NO! DON'T YOU TELL ME TO HANG ON! I've been hanging on for too long! I THOUGHT that you were MY FRIENDS!"

"We are!" Bant cried, "We—"

Obi-Wan continued, his anger controlling him, his hurt too massive for his 12-year-old body to manage, "I've HAD THE WORSE DAY IN MY LIFE! And all you can DO IS SIT HERE! And tell me to HANG ON?!?! You guys are, are……." His mind tried to come up with a horrible enough word, to try and describe the way he was feeling. "You guys are PATHETIC!"

"Excuse me!" Reeft clambered to his feet and stuck out an accusing finger at Obi-Wan, "Don't you dare call me that!"

"PATHETIC!" The little initiate screamed it as loud as his voice-box would allow him. "You didn't even notice me THIS morning! You're all too BUSY FOR ME!"

"Just because you've been rejected so many times, doesn't mean you have to take it out on us!" Garen icily replied.

"I HAVE NOT BEEN REJECTED!"

"Oh yeah? Then how come there are no masters falling over themselves to pick you huh?" Reeft gabbled out, his mind not thinking what he was actually saying.

"Reeft!" Bant looked at Reeft with wide eyes, "No!"

"ITS TRUE! You think you're SO GOOD, when YOU'RE NOT! You're AVERAGE!!"

"Reeft, stop it! STOP IT!" Bant banged her fist uselessly on the table.

Obi-Wan stared speechlessly at Reeft and said sadly, "I can't believe I thought you were my friend." Then his anger took over again, "I CAN'T BELIEVE I THOUGHT YOU WERE _MY FRIEND!_ You're not so GOOD yourself and you know it!"

"You guys! Stop it! Stop it this instant!" Bant stood up and uselessly tried to diffuse the situation.

"And you Bant! I would've thought YOU"D be LAST ONE TO FORGET ABOUT ME! I had my last fight two MINUTES AGO! And you weren't THERE!!"

Bant colored as she remembered how important that fight had meant to her friend, "I'm sorry Obi-Wan, I truly am. I'll make it up to you……"

"I'M SORRY?!?!? That's all you can say?!?! I'll _make it up to you?!?!"_

"You know what Obi-Wan? You're not the center of the universe. We had better things to do." Bant didn't even stop to think how much her comments would affect the boy. She was too busy trying to defend herself.

"BETTER THINGS?!?"

"I meant, we had more important things to do!"

"MORE IMPORTANT THINGS?!?"

"Look, Obi-Wan, I truly am sorry but we had to research for the trip that we're going on."

Obi-Wan threw his head back and howled a howl of animal rage and anger, "THE TRIP! The trip that you're going on WITHOUT ME!!! I GET LEFT BEHIND AGAIN!?!?"

"Well, if you pulled yourself together and stopped being so pathetic---"

"I AM NOT PATHETIC!"

"---then you could've come with us!" Garen ground out between clenched teeth.

Obi-Wan stood stock still, his heart thumping away and his hands trembling. His friends stared back at him, resentment burning deep in their eyes. 

Something was wrong. Something had gone terribly wrong. 

Bruck was right. He was a failure. His friends hated him, he was a pathetic fighter and would never become a Jedi. 

He was a pathetic failure.

Obi-Wan blinked, his emotions too harsh for him to bear and a tear slipped out. Anger flared once more and with heartfelt fury he punched the bookcase, tore the books out, kicked them around and screamed at the top of his lungs.

He couldn't handle the truth. Bruck was right.

Tears streamed down his face as he vented his anger on the bookshelf. His friends just watched open mouthed.

_Failure._

"Obi-Wan…..?" Bant timidly questioned but quailed back as the boy turned to face her, his anger, resentment, fury, and hatred written clearly on his face.

"I HATE YOU!" The boy spat out viciously. Of course, he didn't hate her. He hated himself. He wildly looked for something to throw and remembered that clenched in his hand was his lightsaber. He gave the bookshelf one last kick and ditched his weapon as hard as he could at Garen. 

Before he could see what damage he had done, he had gone.

Garen picked himself up off the floor. The lightsabre had caught him unawares in the middle of the head and he hadn't been ready for the force behind it. Bant and Reeft just stared at the mess around them.

"Yeah, well, I'd say that that was a bit of an over-reaction for missing that stupid fight." Garen rubbed his head and asked, "So what are we going to do about him?"

"Nothing." Bant lowered her head, "Half of it was our fault. He will come back and we will explain our position."

"He'd better hurry because we leave in two days. And we'll be gone for two months at least." Reeft spoke up as he looked at the devastated books around him. "Do you think we'll be blamed for this?"

**** 

Qui-Gon Jinn stalked his way through the corridor, glad that the trials were over for the day. 

But then there's tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day. The Master closed his eyes and leaned against the wall.

He was NOT going to accept another Padawan. Not after what Xanatos had done to him. One heartbreak was enough – why should he risk his heart for another, just for it to be broken like a piece of worthless glass?

The only reason he came was because Yoda always managed to find a way to get his old Padawan back into the temple, to sit and watch the initiates desperately battle for a place under his wing. 

A place that he was not going to give. 

Yoda was concerned about the mental health of his old Padawan. Qui-Gon knew this, but just didn't care. What did it matter?

The fights today had been average. That is, until the last boy came on. That boy had been worse then average. He had fallen for every small thing but…….there was something about him…….

Master Jinn wrinkled his brow as he tried to remember. He had felt the power around the boy, he had felt the Force thicken around the boy, he had seen the Force do whatever the boy wanted of it. He was so in tune with it that what had happened out there on the fighting arena just made no sense.

The boy should've won and won easily. But as the fight commenced, Qui-Gon could feel the confusion, despair and fear radiate out from the boy. The boy couldn't find his center. And that had cost him dreadfully. 

When the killing blow had come, Qui-Gon Jinn had felt a wave of despair so thick that he thought he was drowning in it. No mere boy should have had that much power behind such a single wave-emotion.

He looked uninterestedly at the name on the schedule : _Obi-Wan Kenobi._

As he looked back out to the arena he caught the boy staring at him. Before the boy noticed, he quickly averted his eyes and stared uninterestedly at some point on the wall. Strangely enough, just that small eye contact made his spine tingle and heart thump wildly in his heart.

Get over it Jinn. He's just a boy. The Master levered himself up off the wall and continued slowly down the hall. 

But something still niggled at the Master about that boy……..

He had seen the taunting that the other white-haired boy had given him, and he had seen the pain it had caused Kenobi.

As he rounded the corner he came across a sight that made his eyes widen.

**** 

Obi-Wan leaned against the wall, sobbing miserably, his head buried deep in his hands. 

"Oafy-Wan! Great fight! Brilliant! You know, with moves like that you could maybe, just possibly, beat a 5-year-old!" Bruck's voice came from right beside him, bitterness lacing the edges.

Obi-Wan spun around his eyes red-rimmed and tear tracks openly sprawled down his cheeks. "Bruck! Please just go---"

Bruck's eyes widened innocently, "Oh did I upset you? You're crying Kenobi! Sobbing like a little girl! You must be sooo upset to know that you are a failure! Too bad. I guess you're going to spend the rest of your life in the Agri-Corps."

_Failure._

Obi-Wan sniffed and wiped his nose grubbily on his sleeve, "Please go away."

"Please……go……away?!?!?!" Bruck snorted, "Uhm…..no! I guess you've heard that your friends are going away on a trip together? Leaving you behind? They mustn't think that you're good enough. Well, I must say that it took them a while to realize it huh? Well, I guess that doesn't matter because you'll soon be on some god-forsaken planet and everyone will soon forget that you even existed."

"No, that's not true…"

_You've been rejected so many times._

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen the 'sabre teacher so disappointed. I don't know why they even bother with you. I mean, you're so pathetic. You're a pathetic-"

"**FAILURE!!**" Obi-Wan screeched as he physically leapt onto the white-haired boy. " I KNOW I'M A FAILURE!"

Bruck's eyes widened in fear as his body slammed into the ground with Kenobi on top.

"Shutup BRUCK! **SHUTUP!** I know I'm a failure. Pathetic failure!! EVERYONE HATES ME! I HATE ME!! I can't do ANYTHING right. IT'S ALL MY FAULT!!" Obi-Wan tried to hit the boy beneath him but Bruck was awake enough to move out of the way of the flying fists.

"Get off me Kenobi!" He shouted uselessly.

Obi-Wan screamed, his hatred and anger evident in his voice as grabbed the boy by his white hair. "WHY?? WHY doesn't anyone NOTICE ME?!?! Because I'm a FAILURE! EVERYONE thinks I'm a FAILURE! A pity-case!" Before Bruck could act, Obi-Wan slammed the boy's head in the ground, "I HATE MYSELF!! I HATE IT! I HATE IT!"

Bruck's head was spinning but he saw out of the corner of his eye Master Jinn round the corner. He mentally grinned, Obi-Wan was going to get a pounding for this.

The boy was sobbing as he slammed the white-haired boy's head into the ground once again. He raised his fist once more to do it again when the stern voice stopped him.

"**GET OFF HIM NOW!**" The voice had iron in it and Obi-Wan instantly dropped Bruck's head to look up into Master Jinn's eyes. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?"

"M-Master J-Jinn." Obi-Wan stammered and hesitantly crawled off Bruck.

"Master Jinn! Thank Force you came! Initiate Kenobi here attacked me unprovoked!" Bruck put on his innocent face while rubbing the back of his head. 

_Failure._

Obi-Wan just stared into the Master's eyes, he could see no emotion there except disbelief, distrust and coldness.

"He hates me. Everyone hates me. I don't belong here." Obi-Wan whispered to himself, turned tail and ran. 

"COME BACK HERE!" Bruck bellowed but Qui-Gon Jinn just silently watched the boys retreating back. Kenobi's eyes bothered him. They were so full of pain, so full of inner hatred and so full of resignation. 

He rubbed his chin and turned to the white-haired boy who was shakily standing up, "Who are you?"

The Padawan stared at the man, smiled a toothy smile and replied with pride, "I am Bruck, Padawan to Master Nygher."

Qui-Gon nodded without any emotion. This boy obviously thought too much of himself. Being Padawan to Master Nygher made sense. The man was an idiot. Most of the Order thought so. The last time he had properly trained a Padawan was around 30 years ago, only because the initiate had done most of the work himself.

"What did you say to him?"

Bruck gaped, "Nothing Master Jinn! He attacked me unprovoked."

"Yes, that's what you said."

"Yes. That is what I said."

Qui-Gon gave the boy a stern glare and watched as the boy shuffled his feet. He was hiding something. "Well, then. Where has Kenobi gone to?"

Bruck stared in amazement. He knows Oafy-Wan's name. But he didn't know mine. How come? "I don't know sir. But he always turns up sooner of later."

"Okay. Get back to your Master and get your head treated to." Master Jinn didn't even look at the boy but stared down the hall where the grief-stricken boy had fled.

"Yes, Master Jinn." Bruck noted this with jealously and walked jerkily away.

**** 

Obi-Wan burst out of the temple doors and fled down the steps without realizing what he was doing. 

Master Jinn had seen him fighting with Bruck. Master Jinn had been angry. Worse of all, Master Jinn had been controlled.

_Failure._

Bruck's words haunted him and the betrayal of his friends tore his heart. His rejection by Master Jinn had been the last straw.

As he ran, the word beat like a drum within his head. How could it have come to this? How could he be so hated within a building where hatred was frowned upon? He had lost his friends, he had no family and he wasn't good enough to be anything. 

_Failure._

He ran through the traffic, startling the drivers, and swerving through the lanes. He went up through the levels and back down through the levels. Everything was a gray blur to the boy; he was too busy concentrating on his inner thoughts.

The shops whizzed past and the people stopped looking like people. It was like he was running in a dream world. Only one thing was clear in the boy's mind. Get as far away as possible from the Temple.

Unlucky perhaps, as the boy ran, the forces that wished it let the heavens open up and rain poured down on the boy. He didn't even notice it. It soaked him through to the skin and weighed him down in his robes. He didn't even think to put his hood up. 

A shuttle bus was loading up and without thinking the boy shoved his way in, making the driver yell and the passengers curse. He paid them no attention. They took one look at his robe, his aura of anger and hatred and took in the fact that he was a Jedi. They didn't bother him. He pushed his way down the very back and collapsed into a pile on the seat. He curled himself up, tucked his feet underneath himself and rested his pounding head on the window. 

Everyone tried their best to avoid him. 

The boy shivered, the trembles racking his body, the shock of what he had down beginning to set in. He had run away from the Temple. He had attacked another Jedi. He had vandalized the library. He had let anger and hatred control him. He had yelled at his friends. He had thrown away his lightsaber. All of those crimes had a severe punishment. He had let Bruck get to him. No physical punishment here, but the mental punishment was enough. 

But Bruck had been right. He was a failure. 

_Failure._

He couldn't go back. He didn't belong there. He wasn't a Jedi and no matter how hard he tried, he would never be a Jedi. He would never be chosen. Everyone around him got chosen but him……..? He was always the one left standing alone. 

The boy gave an uncertain maniacal grin. He was the one left standing in the rain. "Yep, this would have to rate about a 9.5 on my 'worst day possible' meter." He closed his eyes and let the shuttle speed to him to whatever destination it wanted.

**** 

The little group of friends finished cleaning up the books and restacking the shelves and arranging the library so it looked _almost_ normal, then continued with their study. They were so deeply involved that they didn't realize what time it was when they finally closed the covers. 

5 hours had passed since Obi-Wan had left the Temple. 

They returned to their respective Padawan-Master dwellings in high spirits, the incident with the young initiate virtually forgotten. 

The night passed and the next day begun. Another 6 hours passed before someone realized that Initiate Kenobi was missing but by then it was too late. 

Initiate Kenobi was already dying.

**** 

** Ha! I told you this one moves a bit quicker then my other LONG story!**

Review?


	3. Hunt

**Thankyou for all your reviews!!! *hugs everyone in sight, everyone else runs off screaming***

Anna Skywalker: Now that i read back on what I've wrote - you're absolutely right. I made the change waaayyy too sudden. But i could use, "Being high on 2 Panadol and 5 Soothers" as my excuse!! (I currently have a bad cold!) [Panadol are aspirin, by the way!]

**Culf:** You don't know how relieved i am that you like the story! i was scared that you'd hate it because it's not a H/L. In this chapter, you'll find out why Obi is dying. I think this will be my last SW fic. I wanna do another proper LoTR one but i don't have any time. Maybe when i go off to uni.

**Kenobisgirl:** AWWW!! You're back!! I'm glad you're liking it!! Its weird cause i'm seeing more people that i never got a review from in my last story!! I like it!

**Andrea:** Verge of tears? You serious? Also, i'm pretty sure i've read something of yours (The Jedi squirrels, that is). *thinks deeply but out of her last 2 remaining brain cells - one dies*

**Remnants:** REMNANTS!!! *huggies* Remnants: o.O Get owf me!!! I'm glad you like this story too! Just letting you know that it was your reviews that made me finish WOYM when it got that tacky middle part! It's nice to hear from you again! Hows the site going?

**And FINALLY!! The story......**

***** 

Qui-Gon paced his room as he wondered where the boy could've wandered off. 'Wandered off' was the wrong choice of words, the Master wryly thought. More like, 'ran seeking sanctuary'.

For the last 2 hours, they had gone over what had happened in the boy's last day at the Temple. 

He had found out about Bruck's little 'good luck' speech in the early hours of yesterday morning. He had found out about his incident at the breakfast table. He had even found out about the situation between the little initiate and his friends. It was not good. Not good indeed.

Qui-Gon winced as he thought about the part that he played. Admittedly, the boy would've been told that anyway but the tall Jedi realized that he had been the one that had thrown the boy off the, metaphorical, edge. 

Needless to say, the trip to save the granules of Hysja had been cancelled and all available 'troops' had been sent out to find the missing boy. The friends hadn't realized the big part that they had played in the boy's day until everyone that had had contact with Kenobi had been called together. 

When they found out what they had truly done, they were horrified. 

But time was running out. All they could find out was that the boy was in the lower levels somewhere. He wasn't dead yet, but the lower levels played havoc with the Master's and Knight's feeling with the Force and the boy's Force signature was getting dimmer and dimmer. 

That could only mean one of two things. Either the boy was descending deeper into the lower levels of Coruscant or the boy was dying. Whichever way you looked at it, the situation wasn't good.

Qui-Gon Jinn made up his mind and strode off to join any of the search parties.

There was something about this boy………….

He would not see him lost.

**** 

Obi-Wan cracked open his eyes and desperately wished that he could go back to the wonderful gray haven of oblivion. Everything just hurt way too much. 

What happened? How did I get into this position? The boy tried his best to sort through his mangled and confused mind and he violently flinched as he touched upon what he was looking for.

It had started around 15 hours ago, when he had stepped off of the shuttle bus.

**** 

The young Jedi Initiate looked around him and drew his damp robe closer around him. He was definitely somewhere in the lower levels of Coruscant, but apart from that - the young boy had no idea where he was. 

"It doesn't matter. I'm away from the Temple. I am no longer am a Jedi. I will go wherever I want. I will find a place where I will be accepted." He whispered to himself as he turned away from the bus and headed in a random direction.

The rain had continued while he was on his bus journey and still continued to pour. Maybe they had a malfunction with the 'off' button? Obi-Wan smiled at his stupid thought and kept walking. He had to find a place to sleep; it was going to be dark soon. 

Two hours later saw the young boy still wandering around, trying vainly to find a place to sleep. It had grown pitch black and without realizing it, Obi-Wan had entered the most dangerous level in all of Coruscant. The people on this level consisted entirely of prostitutes, murderers, spice dealers and people that had a reason not to be found by people like Jedi. 

It was a level that even the Jedi feared to tread.

But ignorance is bliss and the young initiate wandered willingly into his death. 

Where one instant the Force was telling him there was nothing there, the Force was yelling in another instant to run. And run _fast._

Obi-Wan was too tired and too mentally drained to move fast enough. A chain sailed past his face and wrapped itself viciously around his arm, ripping his robe, pinching and tearing his skin and putting almost unbearable pressure on his arm bones. 

The shock dropped him to his knees and instantly another chain wrapped itself around his leg, making the young boy fall flat on his face.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here Nick?" A man about 24 asked his counterpart and tugged violently on the chain around the boy's leg.

The counterpart bent down and roughly grabbed the stunned boy's face and studied its features in the moonlight. He pushed the boy away, as if physically repulsed by him, and hissed, "A Jedi Lasgo."

"A Jedi!" The man called Lasgo pulled on the arm chain and dragged the boy back up onto his knees, "I hate Jedi. Skulking around like they own the universe, believing that they can do anything and push around anybody. What do you have to say to that boy?" He tugged on the chain and Obi-Wan gasped as his arm bones creaked ominously.

"I am no longer a Jedi sir. I was training to be one……but……" At this he faltered, "…I -I …….left."

Nick laughed, "A Jedi reject!"

_Failure._

The boy bowed his head, "Yes sir."

"And what are you doing down here?" Lasgo's voice was dangerous.

"Trying to find a place to fit in." The boy answered simply.

"Well, I hate Jedi. I think they fit in a grave."

The boy swallowed, "But I am no longer a Jedi."

"Aye, but you have been tainted. I see it in your eyes, you still believe you own the whole GODDAMN UNIVERSE!!" Nick snarled and kicked the boy viciously in the stomach. "I HATE THE JEDI! THE JEDI SHOULD ALL DIE!! PATHETIC!!"

_Failure. Pathetic Failure._

Lasgo grinned, "So what should we do with him?" He gestured to the retching boy.

Nick grinned back, his teeth glinting evilly in the moonlight, "I think we should have a little fun."

"I agree!" 

Lasgo gave the chain to Nick and put his hands up to his mouth. What issued was the loudest, deepest, foghorn sound that the boy had ever heard. Within two minutes, the area in which the three stood, or in Obi-Wan's case, lay, was packed full with men and women - all of which either had torn or old clothes, tattoos, piercings, and to Obi-Wan's dismay and fear, they all carried some kind of sharp primitive weapon.

Obi-Wan remembered with clarity what he had been taught about these people. The people living on levels this low could not afford the real painless, expensive weapons so they used the simple, painful instruments of death. The ones that had always worked and would continue to do so. Knives and jagged glass bottles. Heavy wooden staffs, wrenches, shovels, anything that they could lay their hands on that would hurt and/or seriously wound a person.

Lasgo was speaking to the crowd, like a preacher to his pilgrims, "I have found a Jedi. He claims to not be a Jedi anymore but I say once a Jedi, always a Jedi!! He must be killed. He must not live. So what are we going to do about it?"

There was silence for one second, then the crowd yelled as one, "Hunt! Hunt! Hunt! HUNT! HUNT! **HUNT!!!**"

Lasgo nodded his approval, "Yes, that's what I thought!" He bent down to the boy and none too gently ripped off the chains. "You have ten minutes boy."

Nick pulled him up by the hair and Obi-Wan shakily scrambled to his feet. "What's going on? Why do I have ten minutes? Are you letting me go?"

"Yes, we are letting you go!" Nick laughed and whispered in the boy's ear, "We are going to hunt you down like the cur you are. You have ten minutes, so that this is made more interesting."

Obi-Wan blanched and started running. 

Soon the sight of the bloodthirsty crowd was lost in the darkness but he could still feel their eyes on him. 

This wasn't right. It wasn't meant to go like this. So, he didn't belong in the Jedi community. He would go back to being a normal human being. But the people in the community didn't want him either. Because he had been a Jedi. There was no way that the boy would win. He wasn't wanted either way. 

_Failure._

If he wasn't wanted, then what was the point of living? What was the point of running? He stumbled and fell, his foot having caught a kerb of some sort. It didn't matter. He slowly regained his feet, careful of his throbbing arm, when a knife flashed out of nowhere and sliced deeply into his chest.

The boy stumbled backwards and cried out in pain. Instinctively, he grabbed his assailant and threw him/her backwards where his/her head hit the concrete with a sickening thud and the assailant lay still.

Obi-Wan stayed on his knees, his hand covering his chest where the wound bled. The cut was deep but not life-threatening. He had been lucky. Next time, he might not be as lucky.

The thought had just crossed his mind when he heard a battle-cry to his left. He sprung to his feet and leapt off into the night, all thoughts of surrender forgotten as his primeval instinct of fear took complete control there and then.

The chase had gone on for hours, the adrenaline and fear, the only thing keeping the boy on his feet. Many a time, a predator leapt out onto the boy and gave him a whack or a cut or a punch or a kick. Every time the boy _just_ managed to best his opponent but he knew that it wouldn't last forever……….and it didn't. 

The chase ended dramatically, and definitely not the way that the predators wanted it to end.

**** 

Obi-Wan stood in the middle of some straight pathway and squinted fearfully into the night. It was quiet but that didn't mean anything. He slowly turned a full circle in a crouched position, his body ready for instant flight, his ears reaching out to hear anything. 

For some reason he didn't realize the danger, until it was virtually upon him. 

He had a split second warning before a dark shadow hurtled into him, slamming him down onto the concrete and stunning the boy with its ferocity and force. A split second warning was all that a good Jedi should need but the little Initiate was tired, wounded, shocked and sore.

As it was, he only just managed to dodge the knife that had been aimed at his throat and arched his back in pain as it buried itself up to the hilt in the fleshy part of his shoulder. 

He gasped and uselessly tried to force the assailant off his chest, but the person just grabbed his head and pounded it into the concrete. When the boy was sufficiently stunned, it straddled the boy on the chest and pinned him helplessly to the ground.

Obi-Wan stared up into a pair of anger-filled eyes and realized he was looking into his death.

"_Jedi!_" The word was hissed, years of spite and malevolence compressed into a single word. "Useless scum. Tonight, I shall spill your worthless blood and we shall celebrate the death of another _defender of the galaxy._" The last comment was full of hatred and loathing. 

Obi-Wan could see enough to know that the person on top of him was a young man. Not much older then himself. Fourteen at the most.

"Please! I'm no longer a Jedi! I am not accepted there! Please do not! I beg of you!" The boy pleaded with his assassinator. 

"You claim that you are no longer a Jedi, you pitiful bastard, but you _have been_ a Jedi. And you are not wanted here. Nobody wants you alive! And tonight I shall be the one honoured to slit your insignificant throat." The boy leaned down and whispered confidentially in his ear:

"For what it's worth - hunting you was the best thing that's happened in my life so far. And killing you will be _the_ highlight of my life!" The attacker raised his knife and Obi-Wan watched with disbelieving eyes as the moonlight caught it and shone briefly on his attacker's face.

He had been mistaken. It wasn't a man, it was a young woman.

Obi-Wan's mind froze. A mere girl wants to kill me because I am a Jedi. But I am not a Jedi. She wants to kill me because I _was_ a Jedi. Why does everyone hate me? What does it matter?

The knife started on its downward descent, the young girl intent on stabbing the boy beneath her.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes. What does it matter? It doesn't matter. No one wanted him. No one cared for him. No one would notice if he was gone. No one had noticed him from the years gone past. Bruck was right. 

_Failure._

He might as well die here. Here was as good as anywhere. And his death meant something to this girl. Maybe for once in his life, he could do something right and let the girl take his life. 

After all, it didn't matter anymore. Nothing did.

Obi-Wan breathed out deeply and flinched only slightly as he felt the cold steel bite into his neck. He could feel the blood start to flow. 

It would all be over in a millisecond.

The knife stopped. The girl gasped, her body stiffening in horror and then suddenly, the crushing weight had disappeared off his chest. The girl had fled.

What? Why? The girl had had her chance to take him. He lifted up a trembling hand and gently caressed his bleeding neck. What was going on?

He shakily stood up and his eyes widened in horror as he realized that the straight pathway he was on, was a 'road'. No less then a metre away a black shadow was rushing towards him. 

He only had just enough time to realize that it was a speeder with no headlights on before it slammed into him. 

**** 

**Uhm, sorry about the cliffy! It appears, i'm beginning to realise where to put them huh? Sorry!! Review and tell me how much you hare cliffies, because i sure do!**


	4. Drowning

**Culf:** I'm updating! I'm updating! You should be pleased to know that i'm over my cold! (i nearly passed out in a lesson yesterday!). Qui will find him soon....soon my child!

**Remnants:** Hahaha! Yep, after i read your review i got off my arse and wrote some more!

**Amy:** Theres actually no more torture! That was the worst chapter and you've already read it!

**Tinkerclaire:** *wails* SOMEBODY LOVES ME!!!

**Hope you enjoy this chappie!**

**** 

Obi-Wan groaned from his place on the ground. He couldn't quite remember the next bit. It was all a confused memory of shining metal, a collection of arms and legs, being whirled through the air like a rag doll and painfully returning with a vengeance to the concrete.

It had been a bad hit. And the driver didn't even bother to slow down or stop.

Obi-Wan moved slightly and bit his lip to stifle a cry of pain. He didn't have the energy to Force-access his injuries but he could tell that it was bad. 

Possibly even mortally bad.

There were sharp stabbing pains all over his body. They came from losing half of his skin and the various deep cuts and bruises he had sustained. That didn't worry him. It was the deeper, slower, ache that scared him.

The ache was throughout his whole body, his insides felt like they were liquid, breathing was a battle and every time he tried to breath, his chest felt like someone was jabbing him consistently with white hot needles. 

He could move his toes, which meant his legs weren't broken but it felt like everything else had just snapped. 

The Jedi-haters had returned but after they took one look at him, they had laughed and left him. Obviously they thought that he didn't stand a chance.

As time went on, it was becoming painfully evident that they were right. Instead of his body starting to heal itself – it was becoming worse.

The ache grew, deeper and stronger. Breathing was getting harder and it felt like he was trying to swim through a lake, trying to breathe through the torpid water.

Obi-Wan knew that he was dying but he didn't care about it anymore. No one cared about him, so why should he? He knew that his lungs were slowly filling up with liquid. With his blood that _his_ heart was oh so helpfully pumping through the punctures caused by the jagged ends of his broken ribs.

It was a race to see what would fail the little Initiate first. Would he drown or would he bleed to death?

The only thing that Obi-Wan knew for certainty was that he desperately wanted a painkiller. The acceptance of death wasn't meant to hurt this much. 

**** 

"Mace! Wait up!" Qui-Gon called to his long time friend as he jogged to catch up to the dark-skinned man.

"Hey! Qui-Gon! Long time no see buddy! Sorry, that I haven't had time to see you since you've been back but you see things just blew up." He waved his hands for emphasis at the paired teams spreading out to start searching. 

"Sure, we all get bad days, but this is just unbelievable. No sane Jedi would go this crazy over things so trivial." He turned to face his friend and stopped in his tracks as he looked deeply in the tall Master's eyes. "Jeez, Jinn! When was the last time you slept properly? You look terrible!"

Qui-Gon rolled his eyes, slapped his friend on the back and replied good-humouredly, "Thanks for your vote of confidence friend!"

"Sorry! But I mean……When was the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror?"

Qui-Gon inclined his head in submission, "A fair while. But as you said – things just blew up."

Mace's face softened, he had heard about the truly unfortunate issue with Qui-Gon's ex-Padawan. "You do know that it's not your fault Jinn. It could've happened to anyone. Hell, it could've even happened to Yoda!"

Qui-Gon dropped his head and stared at the ground before gathering the courage to look his friend in the eye, "I know it's not my fault. Many a time, by many a person, I have been told this. But……"

"But…….? Tell all to your long-time friend!" Mace tried to lighten the atmosphere.

Qui-Gon grinned dryly, "I can't help that feel that some part of it was my fault. I can't help but think that I could've prevented it. After all, I was Xanatos' Master. We're meant to know each other intimately and deeply. We're not meant to have any secrets from each other. I thought I upheld my end of the bargain but obviously—"

Mace abruptly cut him off, "You did uphold your end of the bargain my friend. Don't forget that I saw you and your Padawan often. And I can truthfully say that the fault lies with Xanatos. Not you. You are a wonderful Master and you gave him everything. Xanatos was the one that let you down. Remember that well friend." He stopped and looked anxiously at the tall Jedi, trying to gauge his reaction to his little speech. 

Qui-Gon sighed and closed his eyes. What Mace said was true but it was just so hard to accept. Easier to accept that he was the one at fault. He opened his eyes so that he could continue the argument but Mace read his mind and quickly changed the subject of the conversation.

"So what do you want? Are you going to help in the search?" Mace quickly ran the words together, giving Qui-Gon no time to retort.

The tall Master just snorted in laughter and replied, "Yes. I wish to help in the search." He then looked carefully around him and whispered into Mace's ear, "Don't tell this to anyone, _especially_ Master Yoda, but I felt something strange with this boy. It was incredibly weird. I mean, his performance today was lacking everything! Style, grace, thought, skill - he did everything that a Jedi is specifically taught NOT to do! But still, something bothered me." He looked at his friend, scared to see Mace's reaction to his confession but the look he received was just full of interest and deep concentration.

"Well, Qui-Gon, Kenobi is a superb student! I know for a fact that certain people have kept an eye on him ever since he turned 10! Personally, I don't understand why he hasn't been chosen yet. Even I've thought about choosing him but his skill! It is truly amazing."

"Why didn't you choose him?" Qui-Gon was puzzled about this.

"Because I didn't think I had it in me to teach this boy. He is brilliant, one of the best students to be trained in the Temple so far, and I didn't want to disappoint him. He deserves the best teacher. I am not that teacher. I cannot teach such, such - ," Mace stumbled for a word, " – such genius! In fact, now that I think about it, I think that is the reason why most people have backed away from training him. We think ourselves not worthy of teaching him. But you!" He turned sly eyes to Qui-Gon and the tall Master found himself backing away by the intensity deep in their depths.

"You! You would be the boy's perfect teacher! You have a reputation that precedes you my friend. Even if you don't know it yourself!" He winked at his friend but his face screwed itself up into a frown as he noticed Qui-Gon backing hurriedly away.

"You are mistaken Mace! I cannot teach this boy! I, also, am not worthy! I could not give this boy everything he needed. You know this Mace!" Qui-Gon spread his hands in front of them and was surprised when Mace suddenly turned his back.

In a hard voice Mace replied, "Let's not worry about that now. We have to find the boy first. If he is alive."

Qui-Gon nodded, glad that the heat was off his back, "Yes. His signature grows weaker with each passing second."

"Good. Lets go. We're going down through the Coruscant levels. Be wary Jinn! There are many people who are not welcoming to our sort. I just hope that Kenobi hasn't met any of them while on his descent through the core."

Qui-Gon stepped up beside his friend and lifted his head as the wind swept his hair back and ruffled his robes. He murmured softly to himself, "Yes, I also hope that Kenobi hasn't gotten himself into trouble."

**** 

The rain had stopped. Obi-Wan just realised it. But in reality the rain had stopped hours before. 

_Failure._

Even while the boy was so badly injured, the hurting word wouldn't stop haunting him. 

He was a complete failure. He had failed his friends, failed his teachers, and failed the Jedi code. There could be nothing worse. Living would be a nightmare. Death would be welcomed with open arms. 

Obi-Wan realised that doing so would be giving up, but fighting on just hurt too much. He closed his eyes but before he could stop it, a single tear slipped out and slid down his cheek. Then just like a dam bursting, the boy couldn't hold it in. 

The tears of pain, frustration, confusion, inner turmoil, jealousy, envy, shame washed down his cheeks. They were silent tears, but his chest heaved and hurt with every painful breath that he took. 

He opened his mouth to sob but all that came out was a frothy cough and the boy shakily wiped his mouth. He gazed without interest at the red smear on his hand. 

It appeared that drowning would conquer him first.

**** 

The day was getting long, and the sun was beginning to set in the sky. Not that it mattered down in the lower levels. 

The place was making Qui-Gon and Mace edgy. Everywhere they went, eyes appeared to watch them, glinting red from within the shadows of the buildings, their spiteful gaze just wishing the Jedi a painful end.

Qui-Gon and Mace stiffened, both of them feeling the warning that the Force had given him. The boy didn't have much longer to last. His signature was getting too dim. Too dim for someone who wanted to stay in the land of the living. 

Mace paced around on the spot trying to locate a tendril of the Force that would give him some information to where the little Initiate was. Nothing helped the dark-skinned Master. Everything was too confused, too jumbled, too dense. 

Qui-Gon also paced, but not on the spot. Something was calling him. Something beckoned. It was a strange feeling – something deep in his mind, called him closer. Closer. As he took a step closer in the direction that his mind told him to go, it grew stronger and with a flash of insight he knew what was going on. 

"Mace! Quick! This way!" Qui-Gon flung back over his shoulder before sprinting off.

Mace didn't even question but followed obediently on Qui-Gon's heels. He did ask several questions, each punctuated with a knowing smile.

"So, you've felt him?"

"Yes."

"Is he close by?"

"No."

"Is he in a good way?"

"No."

"Do you like this boy?"

The question caught the tall Jedi off-guard and he skidded to a stop, Mace slamming into his back with a muffled, "Oof!"

"What makes you ask?" Qui-Gon suspiciously questioned his friend.

"Nothing! It's just a simple question. Do you like the boy?"

Qui-Gon looked down at his hands before answering. "Yes. I do. There is something about him that beckons me. I do not wish him to die for such a stupid cause. I do not wish that upon anyone."

"Yes but is this boy more special to you then any other boy in this position?"

"No! No! Of course not! Any person in this position deserves my help!" Qui-Gon hotly denied the blasphemous thought.

"Peace friend! I am merely asking you – is this boy more special to you then any other boy?"

Qui-Gon thought deeply, knowing how much the answer could and would affect his life. "Yes. This boy is special to me."

Mace grinned, a smile wide enough to disconcert any shark. "Good! I'm glad we got that sorted out. Now lets get moving. How far away is he?"

Qui-Gon started straightened suddenly and sprinted off again, "QUICKLY MACE!! HE'S FADING!"

**** 

Obi-Wan tried to draw in a breath but couldn't. No matter how hard he tried, his chest and lungs just wouldn't co-operate. 

It was the end.

The pain was fading and with it was coming relief mixed with resignation.

No one will notice me gone. The boy thought as his vision started fading. He was feeling sick. Funnily enough, the illness was only just hitting him. It made him shivery and made him wish that the actual dying process would hurry up and do its stuff.

_Failure._

He noticed two figures blurrily running towards him but paid them no attention. 

It was only when the tall one grabbed him roughly by the arm that Obi-Wan looked at them. Pain and the shadow of death smeared his vision but he had enough wits to realise that the person holding him was Qui-Gon Jinn.

Out of all the people to find him in this state, it had to be Jinn. The interminable, strong, fearless Master Jinn.

_Failure._

Jinn grabbed him around the middle to heave him into a sitting position. The boy let loose a gurgled cry of pain and fell unconscious. He couldn't take anymore of the abuse and the touch to his tortured chest was enough to send him graciously welcoming the grey angel of unconsciousness.

Oblivion felt good.

**** 

Master Jinn gasped as the boy fell limp in his arms and Master Mace hurriedly ran his hands over the boy's body.

"Jinn! Quickly. We don't have much time. The boy's body is failing. We should be able to get it under control. Relieve the pressure off the boy's lungs and together lets enter a healing trance and heal the boy of some of his wounds."

Qui-Gon stared down at the pale face and muttered something unintelligible.

"JINN! Concentrate! Entire the trance with me now!" Mace commanded and Qui-Gon obediently fell in line.

Throughout the trance both Mace and Qui-Gon were absolutely silent and didn't move.

The sun had long gone past the horizon when the two Jedi relaxed and lifted their heads to look at each other.

Mace was the first to speak. "He will be alright. He is strong - his body will heal. Admittedly, we were almost too late but he will recover. His wounds were severe. There was deep bone structure trauma in the bones of his arm and he had many superficial cuts and bruises, this being one of the more disturbing ones." The dark Jedi gently caressed the cut on the boy's throat and continued in his observation.

"It appears that the worst of his injuries stem from him impacting solidly with some sort of speeding vehicle."

"Huh?" Qui-Gon was tired, his brain wasn't functioning properly, the boy had been quite near death and the healing trance had taken more out of him then he liked to admit. "What?"

Mace laughed, the gay sound echoing strangely out of place in the dark, damp lower levels. "In simple terms, I'd say he was hit by a speeder."

"Oh." Qui-Gon nodded slowly, "So, that means that he'll be fine?"

Mace sighed and threw his hands into the air, "Did you not listen to a word of what I just said? He will be fine."

"Good." Qui-Gon said the word a bit more firmly then he intended and both men looked surprised at the intensity of feeling in the tall Jedi's voice.

"Yeah. I don't like it down here, so lets get the boy out of here and back up to the Temple. The Healers will be able to finish off the healing and tie all the loose ends together." Mace went to pick up the boy but was stopped by a hand on his robe. He looked questioningly up into his friend's face.

"Yes?"

"Do you mind if I take the boy?" Qui-Gon asked, his voice tinged with an anxious overture.

Mace laughed even louder, "Take him by all means Qui-Gon!" He gently picked the little Initiate up and placed him in the tall man's arms.

Qui-Gon Jinn carefully cradled the small head against his chest and marvelled, "How can a mere boy mean so much? I didn't even know he existed two days ago."

Mace shrugged and led the way back to the Temple. "I don't know Jinn. The Force works in strange and mysterious ways. Who are we to question it?"

Qui-Gon looked down at the fragile bundle in his arms and realised with sudden clarity and fierceness that he didn't want to let go. The boy had touched him. And touched him deeply. 

"Mace?"

"Yes Jinn?" There was a touch of impatience in the voice that made Jinn smile impishly. 

"What would you say to me taking this boy as my Padawan?" The question was made to stun.

And stun the Master it did. "WHAT?? Qui-Gon! Are you serious?" Mace swirled around; his dark eyes wide open with disbelief and happiness.

Qui-Gon sighed and dropped his eyes back onto the top of the Initiate's head, "Yes Mace. I am _deadly_ serious." He snapped his eyes back up and locked them onto his friend's, "What would you say?"

Mace grinned and slung an arm over his friends shoulder and across his back, "I'd say it'd be a perfect duo. Obi-Wan Kenobi needs you just as much as you need him. I give it my highest approval."

Qui-Gon smiled a deep, happy, sincere smile and continued on his journey with a smirky, satisfied look on his face.

He didn't notice the time as they journeyed back to the Temple.

**** 

**I'm sorry but i didn't have time to spell-check this one!**

Be heartened, this is not the end.


	5. Sanctuary

**Sorry, but the forward is long today!**

**Culf:** Well, in reality I have seen the 2nd Blues Brothers. I quite liked it too - especially the zombie song (but i haven't seen it in a long time, so i can't remember much of it.) But I didn't get that saying from there. It comes from, "God works in mysterious ways...." You know that one don't you? Yes, i came on last night to update but found out about the fanpress thing. I could wait the extra night.....could you? Belly of a Sarlacc? That's from the 2nd movie......? I can't remember. You know too much about the SW universe!

**bored2death:** YAY!! You're back!!! *huggies* You reviewed my story! *huggies* You find my fics emotionally moving? *stares* And you NEARLY CRIED?? *wide eyes* YAY!!! Although, when i wrote this fic, i didn't actually intend for it to be so moving! I admit i tried hard to make it sad in WYOM when Obi died....

**Agent Jaid:** Sorry, but i finished the fic and theres no more Bruck-taunting-Obi bits. But i hope you enjoy what i've done!

**Amy-san:** Jinny-pooh? Macey-pooh? *tries out her name* Roz-pooh? *tries out her alter ego's name* Zor-pooh? Nah, just doesn't fit that last one. Well, it was either Mace or Yoda and i don't think i could do Yoda. No Obi-torture - well, not in the physical sense anyway.

**SF-Grl:** Just my luck that i did huh?

**Remnants:** Welcome!

**Sadie:** Yes, but is he _really_ rescued?

**Sorry, but i missed out replying to two people. Can you ever forgive me?**

Also, this is a pretty long chapter - double my normal size. But i just couldn't find somewhere to cut it off and i thought, "Hey. I'm sure they won't mind having a longer then normal chapter......" So yeah. Enjoy.

And just so you know, I've finished writing out the complete story and the end is pretty near so lap it up while you can!

Enjoy!

**** 

"I'm sorry Master Jinn. There is nothing that we can do to wake him." The healer's voice was full of sympathy.

Qui-Gon stared hollowly at the boy lying flat and motionless on the bed.

"But there must be a reason why he will not wake!" Mace cried brazenly.

"We have run many tests Master Mace but we cannot find a reason why Initiate Kenobi will not wake." The healers voice was patient but even he felt the despair radiate out from the Masters.

Qui-Gon couldn't believe this was happening. It couldn't be happening. It just had to be a bad dream. Yes, that's what it was. A very bad dream. 

They had brought the boy back to the Temple, everyone had been overjoyed to have him back – but their cries of happiness had silenced themselves as they saw the injuries that the young Initiate had sustained.

Even Master Nygher's Padawan had the grace to appear upset about the whole incident. He said he hadn't meant for 'Oafy-Wan' to 'run out and get himself killed'. It had all been a joke.

Qui-Gon's jaw tightened as he thought of the humiliating nickname that Bruck had christened his soon-to-be Padawan with. No wonder the boy had virtually no self-esteem. 

And Kenobi's friends. They had been frantic and worried when they had realised the boy had gone missing. When Kenobi had returned they were joyful and repentant about their treatment of the young Initiate. But now that they had been told that Kenobi had fallen into a self-induced coma, they were hysterical. Believing that they had a part to do with it.

They probably did. Qui-Gon told them the facts coldly and emotionlessly. It had shaken them, but then Qui-Gon thought that they needed a good shaking.

They needed to stop taking the young boy for granted. It still might cost him his life.

They had brought the boy back to the Temple. Everything had been fine. The Healers had placed him in a bacta tank and healed his broken chest and various broken bones. He had not waken in the tank.

He's alright. The Healers had said. Everything will be fine – they had said. He had gone through intensive traumatic stress. After all, he did nearly die. His mind would wake up when it felt it was ready to. 

So Qui-Gon Jinn had patiently waited for his soon-to-be Padawan to wake up. 

And he hadn't.

That had been three weeks ago. 

If anything he was getting worse. He had long since moved out of the physical danger but it seemed he was sinking further into mental danger.

Qui-Gon was jerked out of his reverie by the Healer's next words – "He should've waken up several weeks ago but he has not. The longer he sleeps, the deeper in he falls."

"Are trying to say that the longer he stays in his coma, the harder it will be to convince him to wake up?" Qui-Gon curtly asked.

The healer nodded sadly, "I'm afraid you're right Master Jinn. Already, it might be too late to wake him."

"No!" The word erupted out of his mouth before he could stop it, "Don't say that!"

"I'm sorry, but it is the truth Master Jinn." The healer sighed and looked at his feet, "As the hours pass, his brain rests even deeper in its stupor and it will not be long before the boy's mind will completely close off from his body and his body will not be able to sustain itself."

Qui-Gon gaped at the words and stuttered, "A-are you saying that if Kenobi continues to sleep – he will die?"

The healer looked the Master in squarely in the eyes and replied softly, "He will either die, or he will stay in his coma forever."

"There is no hope for him?" Mace cried, trying to find a lead that would save the Initiate.

"It is the boy himself, that is the cause of the trouble. He is physically fine. But something is bothering him so deeply, something that's causing him to shy away from consciousness. The longer he stays in his coma, the harder it will be for him to find his way out." The healer stopped, thought deeply then continued.

"Although, since his body is functioning strong and properly at the moment, he should be fine for another couple of weeks. I do not know exactly Masters!" The healer cried and threw his hands in the air for emphasis. "He could wake up in two minutes, in two months, in two years or not at all! It is all up to the boy himself. But something prevents him from waking – and I know not what it is."

Qui-Gon sat down heavily and took the boy's pale hand in his large one. He observed the size difference silently for a moment, then looked up at the Healer and his friend. "So, we must find out what stops him from waking, and we must find it soon?"

"Yes." The healer replied softly.

"How can we do that?" Mace spoke up.

"I don't know." The healer spoke simply in his turn.

Mace looked down at his friend and spoke to whoever was listening, "Then lets hope that we find a way soon."

**** 

Obi-Wan trembled and wrapped his arms around his knees. It was cold down here. As he laid his head upon his arms, he looked around at his surroundings and shivered. 

He didn't know how long he had been there and he didn't care. All he knew was that it was better down here. He wasn't in anyone's way, he couldn't fail anyone, he couldn't harm them – and although he didn't consciously think it, they couldn't harm him. 

No one could reach him – deep in his mind, where he had fled. And that's the way that the little Initiate wanted it to stay. 

**** 

Qui-Gon took one last look at the boy stretched out on the white linen and reluctantly followed his friend out of the room.

"Jinn? JINN! Focus! Hello?" Mace had to try several times to get Qui-Gon's attention.

Qui-Gon focussed blearily on his friend and wearily replied, "What? What is it that you want Mace? He needs me in there." He indicated with a flick of his head to the boy lying still.

Mace frowned and made his comments blunt and to-the-point. "Qui-Gon, this is not healthy for you."

"It is not healthy for Kenobi either!" Qui-Gon snorted sarcastically in reply.

"No. I mean, pining after this boy. Jinn, you know full well, that it is more then likely that he will never wake up. You are my friend, Qui-Gon and I do not want you wishing for something that will not come true." Mace laid his hand on the tall man's shoulder.

Qui-Gon gaped, "What are you trying to say Mace?"

"What I'm trying to say is – give up the ghost. The boy is lost. He is lost, deep in his own mind and he has made it perfectly clear that that is where he wants to remain."

"Mace! How could you??" Qui-Gon was shocked at his friend's change of demeanour. 

"Look Qui-Gon! I nearly lost you after that stupid blow-up with Xanatos! We nearly lost you! Do you realise what a blow that would have dealt us? Do you realise how much that your loss would affect the Jedi community?" Mace laid out his jumbled feelings on the incident with Qui-Gon's unfortunate ex-Padawan.

Qui-Gon narrowed his eyes, "Are you now referring to me as some card to be dealt to the enemy in the worst case situation?"

"Yes! NO! What I mean is that, you make a huge difference to people here at the Temple and whether you know it or not, we cannot afford to lose you!" Mace cried exasperatedly.

"So what does this have to do with Kenobi?" Qui-Gon tried to sew the ends together, with a puzzled frown lining his delicate brow.

"I saw how devastated you were after Xanatos fell. When this boy falls, how much more hurt will you be? You were deeply hurt by Xanatos and you knew him for years! You've only known this boy for mere days and yet, already I see that you have formed a bond with the boy. In a few days I've seen you form a bond with this boy, and the bond is the same, even stronger, then the one you had with Xanatos!" Mace tried to make his friend see his side of the argument. 

But Qui-Gon remained obstinately blind. "He might still wake. Remember that!"

Mace sighed. Why did Qui-Gon Jinn have to retain his reputation for being the most stubborn man in the universe? "It is a question of when he will fall. Not if. You heard what the healer said. The chance of him waking up is extremely slim. He does not want to wake. He has sealed himself away in some corner of his mind that we cannot reach. He ran seeking sanctuary in his mind, and now that he has found it – he will not leave. That is the truth my friend."

Qui-Gon stared in disbelief. Was Mace telling him what Qui-Gon thought he was telling him? "Are you telling me to leave the boy alone? To let him die?"

Mace winced at the last, harsh sentence. "Yes. As a friend, I am asking, even begging, you to step back before this boy burns you."

"And let him die?" Qui-Gon tonelessly repeated.

Mace's face hardened and iron entered his voice, "Yes. To let him die. He is already lost. The loss of one is bad enough, two need not go. Leave him be!"

Qui-Gon's face instantly wiped itself of all emotions and he coldly asked, "Is that advice from an old friend?"

Mace swallowed and tried to keep his face stern, "Yes. Advice from an old friend. And an order from a councillor."

Qui-Gon's face did not show any of the shock that he felt swirling in his heart. Instead the tall man put his hands in his robes and bowed stiffly. "As you wish Master Mace." He then turned smartly around and walked jerkily down the corridor.

Mace watched his friend's retreating back, his face a shade paler then its normal dark tone and flinched at the remembrance of an old friend using his title in such a way. He walked unsteadily to a seat and collapsed silently into the chair. He put his head in his hands and whispered to himself:

"May the Force forgive me."

**** 

Obi-Wan stood up and went for a walk around his sanctuary. It did not take long. As he walked, he looked at his feet. They sloshed through puddles on the ground, the icy water soaking through his shoes and numbing his toes. 

_Failure._

The word still haunted him in his sanctuary. He could not fully escape it. Well, he could but heading in _that_ direction slightly scared the boy. He placed a hand up against the cold wall, all warmth immediately sapped from his hand and disappearing into grey coloured barrier. He pressed harder and saw with satisfaction that the wall did not give much.

When the boy had first fled to his sanctuary all of the walls had been flimsy, bending at will, allowing the boy to pass through if he wished it.

But he did not wish it.

And time after time, the young Initiate had sat there and slowly strengthened them. Soon he would not be able to pass back through and more importantly:

No one would be able to break through.

**** 

Qui-Gon paced his little room, his mind in a quandary.

How could he thrust this on me? He knows how I feel about this boy! He knows how important he is to me. Qui-Gon frantically thought while pacing the length and breadth of his tiny room.

Qui-Gon tried to think of a loophole. A way that he might be able to help the boy without disobeying his friend's order. After several minutes of frenzied pacing and thinking, the tall Master admitted defeat and sunk down on his bed, his head propped up on his hands, his elbows on his knees.

There was no way that he could help the boy and follow the council's orders.

"Then I won't." Qui-Gon came to simple conclusion with clarity and stood up with strength of purpose. "I _will_ help that boy."

**** 

Obi-Wan turned from the wall and looked at the dark corridor that beckoned him. He had refrained from going down there because frankly, it scared the little Initiate immensely to just _imagine_ where it would lead.

While the area he was currently 'living' in was grey and stagnant, the dark corridor was, well, dark and oppressive. The boy knew instinctively that if he started to walk down the corridor, then he could never return. But it was the one place where The Word could not haunt him. 

If he went down that hall, nothing would haunt the boy.

Ever again.

**** 

Mace tossed and turned in his bed, just like Obi-Wan had done so, just mere days ago.

He could not sleep.

Suddenly he flung his arm out and let it lay on top the blankets, and stared desperately at the ceiling. What he had done was right, wasn't it? The boy had been lost, hadn't he? He was doing it with the best intentions for his friend, wasn't he? 

If so, why did it feel like he had just sold his soul to the Dark Side?

**** 

Qui-Gon walked boldly down the hall, heading resolutely to the infirmary. 

He **was** going to save this boy.

As he rounded the corner and stepped over the threshold to the boy's room, he wavered. What if he couldn't save the boy?

The tall Jedi stamped out any self-doubts and forced himself to walk calmly to the boy's bed. The small Initiate looked paler, stiller and more innocent then Qui-Gon had ever seen him. The boy's pallor had the man worried and his slight hitch in breathing concerned him even more. 

Without further ado, he sunk deep into a chair beside the Initiate's bed and took his small, unresponsive hand. He studied the small hand for a moment, taking in the faint lines and smooth skin before taking a deep breath and closing his eyes.

What he hadn't mentioned to Mace was the bond that he had formed with the child. Mace had seen a friendship bond, a parental bond that had sprung up in the time of need but he hadn't seen the Padawan/Master bond that had instantly attached itself to the two. 

It had taken Qui-Gon several days to realise what the small, niggling feeling in his mind had been. It had been a long time since he had felt one – the one he had had with Xanatos had been dark and a burden to bear. 

Although at the time, the Master had thought it the norm and wasn't surprised when Xani had blocked him and shielded from him numerous times. The one that he had had with Xanatos had been wide and as deep as a wound. The one that he had with Kenobi was light, airy and refreshing. 

It was also incredibly faint and touchy and even now, when the Master touched it, it trembled under the slight pressure.

Qui-Gon could only hope that it would support what he was about to put it under. It hadn't been formed for this type of stress and it was only very new. 

After taking in another deep breath, he relaxed his body and prayed frantically for the Force to give him strength.

And luck.

**** 

Obi-Wan stirred from the place where he had sunk down. He slightly opened his eyes and was surprised to see that he was sitting in one of the icy-cold puddles. He hadn't even noticed or felt the water. 

He was sinking deeper into his stupor.

Something within the sanctuary changed. The young Initiate frowned. He didn't know what was going on but something was changing.

And he didn't like change. Change always meant something new. Something new meant trouble. And trouble always meant failure.

_Failure._

Maybe it was time to go? Obi-Wan stood up shakily and nearly fell over, his legs numb and frozen after sitting in the puddle for so long. He took a step forward and stopped.

It was that feeling again. It tingled up his spine and suddenly his sanctuary looked a bit smaller. The black corridor looked more inviting and promising. He took another step forward but something made him look back over his shoulder.

And what he saw made him stop with shock.

His wall was bending inwards.

**** 

Qui-Gon breathed even deeper, deliberately slowing down his heart. He had to go now, or not at all.

Without further ado, Qui-Gon let go of his reality and plunged headfirst into the bond with the boy.

Instantly he found himself in some light grey room but as he looked around him he saw nothing and no one. With visible disappointment he tried to find the boy somewhere near him but it was obvious that the boy had buried himself deeper in his mind. 

Qui-Gon sighed and walked onwards and came to a sudden halt as he walked into some sort of tangible mental barrier. He placed his hand against it and drew it back suddenly, surprised. The wall was freezing cold and had given him slight burns. Clenching his teeth, he placed his hands, palm down on the wall again and let the pain from his palms flow through him.

The boy was on the other side of this barrier – he was sure of it. Even with the wall in between he could feel the other's sorrow, pain, fear and despair. He could almost feel the boy's mind. 

He tried to communicate with the boy, but something was stopping him. It was either the boy himself or the wall. Something was happening. He could feel the boy distancing himself – the bond in his mind was becoming weaker.

Qui-Gon cried and threw himself bodily against the wall. The wall bent inwards slightly but did not permit him to pass through. Qui-Gon cursed in a very un-Jedi-like fashion and desperately tried to communicate with the boy.

Nothing happened. Then the boy started fading away again. 

There was no time for screaming hysterics. Qui-Gon placed his hands against the barrier and concentrated fiercely.

He had to break the barrier if he wanted to save the boy and he had to do it quickly. He searched deep within himself to find the power and the energy and cried out aloud as he tapped into his well of power and turned it viciously on an assault against the wall. 

The boy was fading quicker. 

With satisfaction he watched the wall bend under his will but then suddenly the proverbial rammer stopped. He had come to the end of his power reserve.

And the wall hadn't broken. It groaned under the strain and was close to shattering point, but Qui-Gon had no more pressure to force it to break. Qui-Gon desperately made a quick and frenzied search for another power reserve but knew that he had none left.

The only power that he had left to use to defeat the wall was currently being used to hold the gateway open between their two minds.

The boy faded further.

Qui-Gon made a snap decision and without looking back, yanked his lifeline free and before his mind could suck him back into his body, smashed the wall open and fell unconscious into the dark, grey room beyond.

**** 

Obi-Wan backed away in fright as he watched his wall bend inwards. Something was coming in. Something was invading his sanctuary. 

_Failure._

He couldn't even keep his sanctuary to himself. He had failed even himself. 

Without realising it, he kept backing towards the dark corridor and watched with horrific concentration as his wall buckled inwards with the strain. Every step he took, made the wall creak more ominously and quiver with built up tension.

Suddenly, the wall stopped its inward momentum and the boy wretched himself out of watching his barrier's disintegration. He spun around on his heel, and made to flee down the dark corridor – all rational thoughts long absent.

He arched his back, stumbled and fell as if physical pain plagued him and a split second later, his wall shattered. He put up his hands to ward off the flying, sharp splinters and cried out in pain as several tore deep into his arms. 

Then suddenly everything was still once again. The sanctuary remained its dull grey and another wall had taken place of the shattered one. Everything looked like it should.

Except for one thing. There was a body lying in the young Initiate's sanctuary.

**** 

Qui-Gon cracked open an eyelid and groaned with the effort. He slowly sat himself up and grimaced. He felt as bad as he did when he had gone on a drinking binge for a whole week after Xanatos' fall. The hangover had laster over two weeks. Well, he had drunk a fair amount.

He carefully shook his head, to clear it of the cobwebs and looked around him. He very nearly groaned again, as he was faced with another grey room. Darker this time. Oppressive, life-sucking even. It appeared that all his effort had gone for nothing. 

And now he didn't now how to return. 

He was jerked out of thoughts as he heard someone or something sniffle in the shadows. Hardly daring to believe he struggled up to his knees and whispered hoarsely:

"Initiate Kenobi?"

No reply. Ah, but there was! Nothing spoken but there was a harsh scraping of cloth on the ground and a face appeared out of the darkness. Young, pale, emaciated and totally and utterly terrified.

Qui-Gon cleared his throat as he gazed upon the lost boy and tried again, "Obi-Wan Kenobi?"

The apparition backed away a little bit but stayed where the Master could see him. "Y-yes?" The voice was young, innocent and quavered with fear. "W-what are you doing here?"

Qui-Gon sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I am Qui-Gon Jinn, Jedi Master. I came here looking for you."

The boy studied him then asked a blunt question, "Why?"

"Because people are worried about you." Qui-Gon replied just as frankly, surprised at such a simple question where he thought the answer was obvious.

The Initiate laughed, his laughter sounding hollow and tinny, and reverberating strangely around the small room. "You must be mistaken Master Jinn. No one cares for me back there. Only here am I safe. Only here will no one hurt me." The boy then faltered and looked at his grubby and pale hands, "Only here, I am not hated."

"No one hates you!" Qui-Gon cried in amazement. Why does he think that?

"_No one hates me?!?!_ Of course they do! Why else am I always left behind? Why else am I the one that everyone makes fun of? Why else am I the one that people ridicule and taunt? It's because I am a failure. **A FAILURE!**" He screamed the word and pounded his hand into the cold ground. 

Qui-Gon sat there shocked. A failure? How can he see himself like that? He's better then most of the people around him. How can he not see that? He fights better then any of them. How can he not see that??

"You are not a failure." Qui-Gon said gently and reached out his hand.

Obi-Wan took no notice of the proffered hand but continued to blindly chant the word that haunted him, "Failure. Failure. That's what I am. I'm a failure. A failure. Everyone tells me so. A pathetic failure. The Jedi call me that. And then everyone else calls me that because I _was_ a Jedi."

"Huh?" Qui-Gon didn't grasp that last bit. "What do you mean Kenobi? What do you mean everyone else calls you pathetic because you were a Jedi?"

"They TRIED TO KILL ME!!" Obi-Wan cried, tears streaming down his face. "They said I was scum and tried to kill me because they said I was a no good Jedi-reject! And they're right! They were right! They should've just killed me!"

"Who tried to kill you?" Qui-Gon clenched his teeth and balled his fists at the anger that the statement ignited in him. 

"The people down there! DOWN THERE!!" Obi-Wan started lashing out, his anger getting the best of him. "They HATE ME!! My FRIENDS HATE ME!! They can't wait to LEAVE ME! You HATE me!! I saw it in your eyes!! EVERYONE HATES ME because I'm a FAILURE! A worthless, Jedi, pitiful failure. I'm always the PITY-CASE!?!? **WHY?!?!** I try as hard as EVERYONE else!! I just don't get ANYWHERE!" The boy let go of all his pent-up emotions, tears streaming down his face.

"Even Bruck got chosen before me!! WHY HIM??? I'm better then him I know. I don't taunt people, I try to help them. But then they turn around and spit it back in my face. WHY??? What did I do to deserve it?? But I do deserve it!" The initiate sprung the resentment back on himself. "I deserve it because I'm a failure."

"No!" Qui-Gon gasped and scooted closer. Before the boy could act, he wrapped his long arms around the frail child and pulled him into his lap and crushed him against his chest. "Child! Listen! Listen to my heartbeat. As long as you hear that, know that you are not a failure! If you were, would I bother to come all this way just to rescue a failure? What would be the point of that? I do not hate you! I love you Obi-Wan!"

Obi-Wan stilled for a mere second, hearing the man's heart beat reassuringly through his tunic but then tried to push himself away, the hurts not easing so easily. "I do not belong in the Temple! People do not want me there! Bruck, Bant, Garen and Reeft do not like me! They hate me!! I failed my teacher, I hit a fellow student, I desecrated the library, I lashed out in anger and hatred and I failed the Jedi code. You do not even know me! You didn't even look at me in my lightsaber performance. You yelled at me. Everyone hates me, because I am a failure."

The boy struggled for a bit longer but when the older man made no move at letting him go he gave in and exhaustedly rested his head against the man's chest. Spoken so softly, so that Qui-Gon himself almost missed it, the boy whispered:

"Everyone hates me. I hate me."

Qui-Gon forced the boy to look up into his eyes and the young Initiate flinched at the emotions swirling in the deep, grey depths. "Obi-Wan Kenobi. Listen to me. Everyone _does not_ hate you. Your friends do not hate you. I do not hate you. In fact, I wish to take you as my Padawan."

The boy stared up at him, totally speechless, "What?"

Qui-Gon Jinn smiled softly and repeated himself, "I want to take you as my Padawan." 

The child gaped then lowered his head, "But….B-but I am not worthy of the great Jinn."

Qui-Gon laughed and placed the boy's head back against his beating chest, "That is not true Padawan. I believe that I am not the one worthy to teach you!"

Obi-Wan coloured a bit at the name but didn't say anything.

_Failure………?_

Qui-Gon Jinn grinned with satisfaction. He was finally getting through to the boy.

Everything was going to be fine.

Except for one thing.

Qui-Gon didn't know how to find his way back through the boy's mind back to reality.

**** 

**Ha! Bet you didn't see that coming did you? Send me a review! Tell me what you see! (I see pride! I see power! I see a badass mother, who won't take NO CRAP from NOBODY!!!) - Cool Runnings.**

Sorry, but i LOVE that movie.


	6. Going home

**WHAT?!?! Ok, i have a question. Who exactly is '0'? They have an email address, "xing@fanfiction.net". It's just that you've answered questions and comments for two different people and i got like 2 reviews from the same person for Chapter 4 and 4 for Chapter 5! No offence or anything but its really screwing me up!! It's like this person has several different personailites!! I don't know if you're just one person or if you're several people using the same ID. Just wondering, cause its weird.**

Is it you Culf? Or you Agent Jaid? Or what?!?! Anyway, i'll the questions like this and whoever asked them - i hope you know what you're looking for!

Yes, Bruck does go bad and Obi does have to kill him but that's later. A lot later.... One of the best? My aim is to become as good as Cassia.

Bored2death:Don't worry, i love LotR - otherwise why else would i claim 16-year-old Aragorn as my own? CR is a kickass movie huh?!?

**Sanka:** Ice? ICE?? As in penguins? And eskimos? And Igloos? And ICE????

**Derice:** Yeah. Its sort of a winter sport..

**Sanka:** See ya! 

**Derice:** Where you going man?

**Sanka:** I'm going to take a hot bath. Just thinking about all this ice is making me cold.

***koffkoff* Uhm, yeah. Just ignore that....**

BAD ASS MOTHER WHO WON'T TAKE NO CRAP FROM NOBODY!!!

Yeah, ignore that too. It's Zor's fault.

**_ This is the last chapter. It's a bit short though. I really should've formatted it better.... Oh well. Enjoy it!_**

**** 

The two sat in the dull grey room and talked quietly for the next hour or so. Qui-Gon found out all that plagued the boy, all his insecurities and in return the tall Master told him all about his ex-Padawan and how Xanatos had betrayed him to the dark side. Qui-Gon carefully and with loving hands soothed the boy's wounds on his arms and healed them.

_Failu…..?_

It might have been both their imaginations but after they finished talking and had lapsed into a comfortable silence, the room didn't seem so grey. And the dark corridor didn't seem so dark.

Finally, Obi-Wan broached the dreaded question.

"So, how are we going to leave?"

"Do you not know?" Qui-Gon tested the boy's knowledge of what he had done.

"No, Master. I'm afraid I wasn't thinking. It's all my fault." The boy dropped his head and instantly started mentally pounding his self-esteem into the ground again.

Qui-Gon forced the boys mouth shut and kissed him lightly on the forehead. "It's as much my fault as it is yours. When I was opening the wall, I stupidly let go of my reality connection. See? Even Masters make mistakes sometimes. So stop beating yourself up! If I had've been in your position, I would've done the same thing."

_Fail…..?_

The words calmed the boy down and he snuggled even deeper into the man's arms; enjoying the warmth and comfort they offered.

"Then what are we going to do Master?" the child mumbled, his voice muffled by Qui-Gon's tunic.

"We shall wait. I'm sure a situation will present itself." Qui-Gon smiled faintly at the boy cradled lovingly in his arms and closed his eyes.

**** 

Mace shot straight up in bed, a frown on his face and a curse on his lips.

He muttered as he ran down the hall in his sleeping robes and skidded to a halt at the entrance of the infirmary. Thinking quickly and deeply he ran on and returned with several healers close on his heels. With his 'army' in tow, he entered Kenobi's room and grimaced at what he saw.

It was exactly what he thought he would see. Kenobi lying unconscious in his bed with Qui-Gon knocked out beside him, holding the young boy's hand in his own. It was a sight that would've warmed anyone's heart except that Mace was more worried about how to get both Jedi out of their respective comas.

He knew exactly what Jinn had attempted. And he was going to try it also, but he had help. Jinn hadn't thought the situation through and that might've cost him.

Hopefully, it hadn't.

Mace cursed fluently in some barbaric language and then turned the healers beside him who were blushing at his vulgar language. "Right. I'm going to go in after Master Jinn. He has obviously gone into the Initiate's mind. I do not know if he has succeeded in making contact with the boy but something must have happened, otherwise he would have withdrawn and returned to his reality.

Now, where Master Jinn didn't have any help - I have you people. And just WHAT are you laughing about?" He snapped at a young Padawan boy healer who was softly snickering behind his hands.

The Padawan's eyes widened and then he smiled fully and said, "Forgive me Master Mace, but I didn't realise that you were so……….versatile in your languages! I did not even know that half of those words existed! One day, you must teach me!" But then, he dropped his eyes and bowed his head. "But I am sorry Master Mace. I have cost you time, where there might not be time to spare. For that I am deeply sorry – please continue."

Mace smiled at the boy's maturity and as he turned back to the slumbering Jedi he said, "Maybe another time Padawan. But first, we must help Master Jinn and Initiate Kenobi.

"Now, as I was saying before I was interrupted", but his voice was full of teasing as he spoke the sentence, before he continued in a much more serious tone, "I will enter Jinn's mind and then continue into the boy's mind. It appears that Jinn had opened up a bond with the boy. Something that the healers could not accomplish. 

But where Jinn had no help, I have you. You see, as I go deeper into their minds, the more lost and misguided I will become. I need you to be my anchors and hold me strong! For if you should fail, it will be near impossible to pull out three lost minds! Even with just two, it will be difficult. Difficult but not impossible. 

Now listen up. Half of you will have to strengthen and hold the bond open – especially when I return with both Jinn and Kenobi's consciousness. A normal bond is not made for that sort of strain and needs outside help to remain open. The other half of you will keep me anchored. Got it?" Mace concluded his speech.

All of the healers nodded and Mace went over and sat on Kenobi's bed. "Good. Then split yourselves up and when you give me the word; we will start."

The healers nodded again and soon they were ready. Mace took a deep breath and took Jinn's other hand and clasped it tightly.

Before he begun his descent, he wished for hope and muttered, "You owe me bad for this Jinn."

And then he was gone.

**** 

Obi-Wan was getting scared. Now that Master Jinn was with him, he had begun to see how out of wack he had acted. How could everyone forgive him?

Qui-Gon read the boy's mind and gently smoothed his hair and talked quietly to the boy, "Everyone makes mistakes. You are no different my Padawan. Everyone sees how hard a time you have gone through. Trust me, they will easily forgive you. It is forgiving themselves that they will find hard to do."

Obi-Wan inclined his head almost sleepily and asked another hard question, "How will we get out of here? I can no longer open the wall and you have no power to do so. How will people know where to look?"

"Don't worry Obi-Wan. People are coming – they know where to look." Qui-Gon grinned confidentially and ruffled the boy's hair. 

As if just to prove a point, the wall let a man through just as if it had been mere fluid and Mace stood there glowering.

"Mace! About time! Padawan Kenobi was beginning to get worried!" Jinn grinned at the boy and stood up to greet his friend.

"Not….funny…..Jinn." Mace ground out through clenched teeth. "What if we couldn't have gotten to you? What if the boy had died while you were still in his mind? Do you realise that you've DISOBEYED A DIRECT ORDER FROM A COUNCILLOR???"

Obi-Wan cowered under the dark man's tone and harsh eye contact but Qui-Gon just laughed and answered the last question with a simple word – "Yes."

Mace stared at his friend for about a second longer then his face suddenly spilt into a huge smile. "Good! I'm glad we got that sorted out! Now, lets take another look at your new Padawan."

Obi-Wan blushed deeply and fearfully stepped forward to present himself. He bowed stiffly and while still staring at the ground mumbled, "M-Master Mace. It is g-good to see you."

"Initiate Kenobi! Look at me when you speak." Mace curtly ordered as Jinn's eyes flashed at him and told him to back off.

The boy slowly looked up and looked deep into the Jedi Master's dark brown eyes. Mace stared at him silently for a full minute while Jinn shuffled nervously, like a parent watching their child sit through an examination. Suddenly, Master Mace bowed to the boy and said, "It is good to meet your acquaintance _Padawan_ Kenobi. I see that you will be a great Jedi. I approve of the pairing between you and Master Jinn."

Qui-Gon sighed in relief. The last time Mace had done that, it had been with Xanatos and Mace hadn't liked what he saw. In fact, he had just bowed to Jinn's ex-Padawan and left making up an excuse that he had to be somewhere.

"Now that you have finished terrifying my Padawan, do you think that we will be able to go?" Jinn sarcastically asked his friend and lovingly drew the boy closer to him. Obi-Wan moved willingly and buried his head in the man's long, brown robes. The fabric was warm, smelt like cinnamon and was strangely comforting.

_Fai………?_

Mace observed the body language between the two and grinned. Yes, these two were going to be a bunch of laughs. He could also see that they were going to be a bunch of trouble. "Yes. We better leave. I virtually have the whole healer's ward waiting for us out there. And the next time that you decide to contact me while I'm _sleeping_ could you possible wait until the end of the lovely dream?!?!" Mace quipped and Qui-Gon grinned at him with a knowing smile. 

"You know full well Mace that you weren't sleeping!! And don't try to trap _**me**_ in a guilt trip!" Qui-Gon laughed as Mace turned his back, a smile gracing his lips.

"Yes, well. Next time - just be considerate!" Mace led the way and as he came to the grey wall he turned and curtly said, "Lets go" and stepped through.

The wall parted easily and repaired itself behind the man's back seamlessly. Obi-Wan hesitated and Qui-Gon gripped his hand to give the boy strength.

"Come on Obi-Wan. It's time to go home." The Jedi Master held the boy's hand as boy looked around his sanctuary one last time.

He realised for the first time that it looked more like a prison, then a sanctuary.

It was time to go home. He found that he was trembling from the fear of passing back into the real world and Qui-Gon gripped the boy harder and sent a feeling of courage and love through the unstable bond.

_No failure._

Finally when the little Initiate managed to get his fear under control, he gave a small nod and together, they passed through the wall.

**** 

Padawan Kenobi stood and watched with disbelieving eyes as the Hall erupted into applause around him. Master Jinn just stood there, his face neutral but his heart was glowing with a happiness that he had not felt in a long time.

It had been over 2 weeks since Obi-Wan had awaken from his coma and everyone had heard within two days that the famous Master Jinn was going to take Initiate Kenobi as his Padawan. This unofficial announcement had left Bruck speechless and had left Master Yoda rubbing his hands together with glee.

In fact, they had just completed the official ceremony that bonded Jinn and Kenobi as Master and Padawan. 

It was like a dream come true for Obi-Wan. No, not even a dream. For Obi-Wan had never dreamed that anything so amazing could've happened to him. 

It was surreal.

Obi-Wan glanced up at his Master and Qui-Gon looked down on the bewildered boy and smiled warmly. He put hand gently upon the boy's shoulder and sent wave after wave of love, compassion and kindness. He silently told the boy to believe it, that it was true and that he'd never leave him. He told the boy that he loved him and that together they were going to be great. He told him about all the fun that they were going to have and that he would make a fantastic Padawan, a spectacular Knight and an amazing Master.

He told him that he wasn't a failure.

And Obi-Wan Kenobi believed him.

**The end.**

**** 

**I'd have to say that that would have to be one of the sweetest stories that I've done so far! One last review? Out of 10? Rated against WOYM? Better or worse? Things I could've done better? C'mon! One last review? Pllleeaasseee?**

And Culf!! I'm glad you liked it so much!! After all, this is 'your' story!

Anyway, thankyou so so so much for all your reviews and emails!!! I can't believe people emailed me! You know who you guys are and i thank you deeply! You guys have been fantastic readers!! LUV YOU ALL!


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